Parkin's Parables - Congratulations

Short stories from my life that have helped me. I hope they help you too!

Since the release of my self-help memoir in 2023, a number of people have asked: what is next?

These stories are the initial outcome to that question. Perhaps one day they will end up as an appendices in an updated version of Yourself or Someone Like You.

In the meantime...enjoy!

Congratulations! [on breaking up]

In the days and weeks following the discovery of my wife’s betrayal, I decided to address the issue of my pre-maturely balding scalp.

This was going to be a new Grantie, Grantie 2.0.

After seeing too many ads, including that of Shane Warne spruiking the benefits, I set up the appointment. A little nervous, feeling a little vain, I walked to the doctor’s room on a hot and humid Brisbane afternoon after work.*

Of course, I had played right into the hands of this commercial machine, which preys on the insecurities of people like me.  Once you’re in the devil’s lair, it’s hard to get out.

Despite the various new and expensive shampoos that were now required, there was also a fortnightly laser to the scalp, and most concerning, a tablet once a day, with some pretty horrendous side effects.

The doctor was a friendly enough chap, and I enjoy a chat. We were getting along well. Then he asked, out of interest, what had prompted the decision to reclaim the barren piece of real estate on my head.

I explained to him the betrayal and the disappointment of the failed marriage, getting a bit emotional in the process.

‘Oh’ he responded ‘Congratulations!’ with some enthusiasm. Then silence…

I’m not often speechless, but I was now. I had an amygdala hijack and very nearly flew across the desk to punch him in the mouth.

Congratulations? Is this guy mad? I thought.

I’m looking at him. He’s looking at me.

Fortunately, I applied the ‘between stimulus and response there is space’ process. Thank goodness for Viktor Frankl that day!

(Let’s just say I took a deep breath.)

‘Excuse me?’ I say, seriously perplexed.

‘Well, one of you was obviously very unhappy in the relationship and wanted a way out. They simply did not know how to end it. From the little interaction I’ve had with you, I’m sure you wouldn’t want someone to be unhappy and stay with you. So, this is a good thing! You were probably both unhappy with parts of the relationship and now at least one of you will be happy.’

Talk about taking a different view of the same situation.

He was right. As tough and confronting as that specific word was to hear.

My estranged wife certainly appeared happier…

I am now immeasurably happier…

I now congratulate individuals when long-term relationships end, providing the same message.

Congratulations!

 ___________________________________________

*The irony of this of course is that I’m now completely bald, shaving my head twice a week. I’ll just say that I’m much happier now.