Parkin's Parables - Old Shoes

Short stories from my life that have helped me. I hope they help you too!

Since the release of my self-help memoir in 2023, a number of people have asked: what is next?

These stories are the initial outcome to that question. Perhaps one day they will end up as an appendices in an updated version of Yourself or Someone Like You.

In the meantime...enjoy!

Old Shoes [on relationships and moving on]

During the months after the car accident, I began seeing a girl. Soon after the honeymoon / young lust period ended, I found myself in a ‘poorly functioning relationship’.

That’s quiet diplomacy for saying, the relationship was over...we just didn’t know it yet.

Two good people, who together, unfortunately just weren’t good. In fact, we became toxic.

We broke up.

As sometimes happens during these times, I was tempted to get back together. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad? Perhaps things would be better this time?

My aunt then told me the story of the old shoes, and how they compare to a past relationship: Imagine your favourite pair of shoes, the ones you simply love. You wear them everyday, and you know every part of them. It’s like these shoes are part of your identity. They feel comfy, like home when you put them on. When the soles wear out you get them re-soled, you replace the inners when they go.

Eventually the stitching/lining goes on the ball of your left foot. The sole begins to slowly peel apart. Then the cushioning on the heel of the right shoe goes, and your heel chafes each time you wear them.

There is no way, unfortunately, of saving these shoes. Begrudgingly, you go to the shop and buy a new pair. Fresh and clean, new foam in all the right places. However, when you start wearing this new pair, they are rigid and uncomfortable, giving you a little blister in a new spot. They feel different to your old favourite pair.

After a few days of trying the new pair, you have had enough. You throw them in the back of the cupboard and begin wearing your old shoes again.

And it feels great! In the beginning…

Because you know these shoes. It feels like it always used to, and you wonder why you ever bought a new pair.

However, pretty soon, that old pair begins to chafe you in the same old places that they used to. When it rains, now your foot gets wet, and you look like a bit of a tramp. The blisters on (now both of) your heels grow, and it is even more uncomfortable wearing your old shoes than what it was wearing the new pair.

Old shoes…the same principle applies to old relationships. If they are done, they are

done.

Going back will merely reinforce why you let the relationship go in the first place.

Don’t waste the time.